It was the best of games; it was the worst of games. This timeless conundrum is the problem with Crazy Golf: King of Clubs. It begins with a good and fun idea, a casual game based on mini golf. The 3-block match, running a shop with too many customers or feeding a lot of animals are all concepts done into the gaming ground. Not that it stops publishers from shoving them at us at all opportunities; in fact the popularity of these games seems an incentive to release more of them. So a game based on something slightly different is exactly what the casual games market needs. But in this instance, it lacks many of the things that make those other games so popular, especially polish and practice.
In King of Clubs you’re a strangely attired super miniature golf nerd on a tournament. Your goal is to beat or make par on one of four beginning courses for a variety of cash prizes and medals. Each course is themed, from Jurassic to Pharaohs, through fairy tales and into outer space. The holes in each course range in difficulty from an easy two shot, to a very difficult seven. To play though the course and hit your ball you right click, use the mouse scroll wheel or touch pad to increase your swing and then hit enter or left click to let go. Use the arrow keys to reposition.
You can play through on the main Career mode, where you have to play through each course and win a medal to continue, Tournament mode, where you play through against an NPC opponent on a course of your choice or Practice where you choose any hole. One of the best modes is Gopher Hunt, with homage to the cheeky Caddyshack gopher from days of yore. The cardboard cutout is unmistakably reminiscent of a brief icon. It’s a very funny addition. There is a multiplayer mode, but it is a little dated since King of Clubs doesn’t have any network support. In multiplayer you can play in versus, or against each other in a tournament, Grand Prix, a random selection of unlocked holes, speed golf and party, where you can play any hole.
Allegedly you can purchase better clubs as you go, though I didn’t get it to actually spend any money. I earned it, it confirmed I’d bought the new putter, but never actually rolled over onto any of the courses. No matter the club I thought I’d purchased, I’d end up with a standard putter and a standard ball. Whether this was because I hadn’t hit a high enough level, or just couldn’t work out how to change clubs, I’m not actually sure. Clicking on the club icon in the top right corner did nothing, though common sense would suggest it did. Upon starting a new course after completing one, I’d find my bank balance was exactly the same as when I’d left it.
The club selection wasn’t the only thing outside the bounds of intuition. For some reason when you first play the game, the Putting Guide function isn’t on. King of Clubs becomes a lot easier when you have a little line stretching out in front of you, though inexplicably it doesn’t actually stretch as far as the ball will go and doesn’t automatically adjust for moving obstacles.
The graphics aren’t particularly helpful for gauging terrain and prove a bit of a hindrance. The actual textures of the courses are fairly generic, only differing in color and pattern. But there’s no real explanation that dark brown with spots in means carpet, or dirt. You have to make quite a few guesses. Likewise the various traps and obstacles aren’t necessarily clear. The go faster box, for instance, is blue, or at least it is on some courses.
Other aspects of the graphics are sorely lacking. The interface features a flagrant abuse of Comic Sans, while your 3-D be speckled avatar looks embarrassingly like something out of uber-geek Doom. The lack of graphical sophistication seriously lets down the rest of the game. Each course was carefully thought out and decorated down to the Velveeta cheese factor of many mini golf establishments. But with such a basic engine, this eye for detail is lost and the whole picture is tarnished. You’re too busy reminiscing about Oregon Trail to notice the sign advertising “Warm Beer and Bad Service,” the awesome cardboard cutouts of cavemen or appreciate the nostalgia of gopher bashing.
The music on the main title screen is actually pretty good, though possibly more suited to card titles. The sound effects are very apt and professional. The swoop and contact of the club sound like what you’d expect and the cries from various cardboard creatures are pretty entertaining. Auditory features, unlike the graphics and visuals, are consistent and precisely what you’d expect.
Despite my misgivings about the finer details of King of Clubs I did enjoy playing some PC mini golf. But there’s a large element of amateurishness here that will turn potential gamers away. While leaders like Zuma and Bejeweled may look simple, everything is smooth and everything works. The tiny addition of an option to play in a separate window may seem obvious because everything else has it, but King of Clubs doesn’t and that’s just one of many things lacking. But with its follies, I’d be encouraged with the potential for later titles, hoping they can iron out the bugs and get the rest up to par (so to speak.) The primitive graphics, bugs and multiplayer options can be repaired but the sense of humor and creativity are rarely replicated. The foundation for an excellent game is there, but this isn’t the one.
Special thanks to Sarah Heartland and Oxygen Interactive for providing a copy of this title.