I started playing Mojo Master because it seemed like it would be a funny date sim. Boy, was I ever wrong!
The purpose of the game is to empty a girl’s “mojo” meter, by using a series of mental and physical moves, all associated with a pick-up line. The game mechanics work a bit like a card game. Each move is presented as a card, with an image and description, and symbols for their properties. These symbols are the key to understanding the girl.
There are two types of moves: physical and mental. You will recognize the symbols right away: the thinker in blue for mental, a guy flexing in red for physical. This is the easy part, because the complicated part is understanding how the compass works.
There are five attributes for each type of move: air, earth, light, dark and fire. By using the different types you will uncover which physical and mental attribute the girl has. It’s basically an elimination process that is not that easy.
Each of the moves you use will have an effect on the girl, causing her mojo meter to deplete. The right moves will make it go down faster, while the wrong ones will have little or no effect. The thing is, her moves will also cause your mojo to go down, so the quicker you learn what she likes, the better for you.
Are the girls giving you a hard time? Tired of being turned down? Had enough of being slapped around? Here’s the secret to success. Opposites really seem to attract, so if you match the girl’s physical move type and oppose her mental move type, you will surely end up with her phone number.
The game controls with a series of point and click movements, but you can also use the up and down arrow keys during a “date” to zoom in and out on the girl. Not that it’s that exciting, but aside from the cheesy pick up lines it’s the only interaction available.
And what’s with that surreal boob jiggle, are the girls possessed or something? Is it a vibrating bra? Who knows, but it sure is messed up!
The game is totally unrealistic, and I don’t mean the Barbie doll body doubles. The moves should have been chosen according to the surroundings. Why would someone be showing you her nightie in a Casino, especially after exchanging a series of bad pick-up lines? It makes no sense.
And talk about in-game advertising! Aside from neon signs flashing “AXE” in your face, your special items are Axe products as well: deodorant, shower gel and other body hygiene products. So what exactly are they trying to tell us here? That guys will be more likely to pick up girls if they wear Axe? That the more you wear, the more attractive you will be? Please…
Mojo Master is nothing but a parade of product placement and bad pick-up lines, aimed at hormone-crazy teenagers or anti-social males who are too afraid to interact with a real girl. Guys, seriously, if you ever manage to get a girl’s phone number by using one of these stupid “ice-breakers”, do let me know.
I even came up with a bad pick-up line of my own: “Boy, with breasts like those, you sure must have a lot of back problems!”