Anyone who has known me for a while knows I dislike children and don’t have the slightest patience for them or babies. Not the real ones, and definitely not the virtual ones either. I couldn’t stand the whole diaper changing and teaching homework in The Sims 2. So yes, I am biased on this, and you’re probably wondering what possessed me to even slide this cartridge into my DS… well, a review build is a review build, and this is what I have to say about this particular one.
My Little Baby is basically Nintendogs but with a baby instead of a puppy. Except it’s definitely not as cute and a lot less fun.
You begin by picking some DNA traits for the parents, such as eye color, hair color and skin tone. I based these on my parents and what I got as a result was completely unexpected: from a mix of very light and medium skin tones I got… (drum roll) …a dark brown baby. Can you say “WTF”? I guess DNA isn’t what it used to be.
From there, you watch a couple of intro stills where you see a in-utero baby and some text about your baby developing and finally being born. No mention about those 9 months of being uncomfortable though. A bit like using a powder drink, you mix the DNA and there it is, instant newborn. If only life was that easy…
The game is mostly controlled by the stylus, tapping and dragging for doing almost everything. And by almost everything I mean preparing a bath, bathing the baby, changing a diaper, heating up a bottle, feeding, teaching the baby to crawl and to walk later on… And the most fascinating activity is probably cleaning. Yes, I am being sarcastic. CLEANING!? Are you kidding me? Like I really want to go around sweeping virtual dust, mopping virtual muddy spots or using virtual paper towels to wipe virtual messes on floors, walls and cabinets in every room of this virtual house. At least in The Sims I can hire a maid…
But here, every time you enter a room, it’s like a dirty dog just walked in and shook its body, sending water and mud flying all over. Or some sumo mud-wrestling took place in there. Whatever imagery works for you. It’s that dirty.
The game also uses the microphone, and not to blow dust away from surfaces. You can talk to your baby and hopefully if you repeat the same words enough, the baby will learn them. Except doing this is completely pointless until the baby grows to be 9 months old. And I’ll be honest, I didn’t play for that long.
Like in Nintendogs, you can leave the house and go around town to check out the different stores and buy accessories, toys, clothes, food and other supplies for your baby. I don’t know exactly how you get the money to buy things (there was no manual with the game build) but I think it has to do with the way you take care of the baby and some kind of family allowance. As for other activities, you can snap photos of your baby and make your own photo album, or enter these photos in a baby pageant (a focus on superficial beauty and cashing in on your kid’s appearance – how quaint!).
I know little girls enjoy playing the “mommy” game with their dolls and all, and they might even enjoy playing My Little Baby. But I’m sure Nintendogs would be a much better and more fun experience, without the annoying cleaning portion and graphically awkward-looking babies. I don’t think I’d recommend it unless you know someone with an OCD for cleanliness.
To quote Minna, “Just say no to virtual poop”.